050.

a month since my last one?

horrible.

especially since i've had things to post about.

but i'll just post about my most recents.

turned 21 last monday.

i didnt do much which is fine with me.

had some cake with the girls at 5ptz.

then some dinner.

and sean got me a flask.

aka i got exactly what i wanted-cake, friends, and a flask-, minus one thing.

didnt drink or party, because i didnt want to.

but going to the beer garden is on my list of to-do's now.

049.

my weekend was enjoyable.

worked saturday attended a 1yro bday party after.

this is tiana, my co-workers niece she is too cute, underneath that pc she is cheesing really hard

then went out with the boys for george p's bday.

but being out clubbing/lounging w.o shan or tash felt weird.

i actually felt a bit lonely, even tho george p told me i would be fine.

something was still missing.

newho got home 6 o clock sunday morning.

now i knew i had to go to my god-bros daughters christening.

but upon arriving home at that time i made the decision that i wouldnt.

that was until my god sis called me @ 1050am asking me to bring my cam because hers is broken.

mind you church starts at 1115.

but i felt so bad i forced myself to get up and go.

after church was the bbq.

which was another batch of win.

baby alex is just too cute.

she def has my god-sisters forhead tho, poor thing.

baby alex :).

and tonight i had the pleasure of whooping my future ex-husbands ass in tennis.

16 games to 4 games.

so much win.

048.

my birthday is roughly a month from now.

and i want these:

you can miss me with all the 'thats young minded/hoodratish' or whatever else you have to say.

or you can save it for someone who cares.

i also want a flask.

im certain thats all.

047.

hey there again.

how ya doing?

im just gonna go ahead and update this since arion brought you to my attention.

not much has been going on.

tennis has started again.

and we didnt get paid for the 1st month yet.

bc the new retard in HR lost our contracts and what not.

so i took time out of my day yesterday to go up to the office and personally hand it to her.

she informed me i'll be getting paid for last month some time next week.

in other news.

i went to my happy place again like two weeks ago.

look at it.

it just warms my heart.

too bad my effing cam died so i didnt get much pics.

but w.e.

thats all for now i must get ready for tennis before im late.

p.s my bday is in a month and 2 days i know exactly what i want!

p.p.s i need new tunes for here.

im gonna hunt for some when i get back.

046.

my mom.

my moms makes me feel like a failure and worthless at least a few days a week.

no one really understands either.

i've talked to one or 2 ppl about how it makes me feel.

and both have told me i'm none of the above.

but honestly its starting to take a toll on me.

now dont get me twisted.

im not a weak minded person.

i dont have self esteem issues.

its just that when my mom is constantly telling me im a failure im starting to wonder if i really am.

but yea i guess im done being emo now.

im gonna put a smile back on my face.

and continue pretending as if everything is okay.

045.

there's a really good friend of mine that i feel like we're slowly drifting a way from eachother.

actually no i sorta feel like im being replaced.

felt that way for some time now.

sucks tho, cuz i really miss her.

044.

i know you must hate me, for i have neglected you.

i will attempt to change that, scouts honor.

im feeling kinda lazy at the moment tho, so i'll just say....

happy new year and all that jazz.

<3.